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The Funniest Cricket Quotes: Humorous Quotations For All Sports Fans (Funniest Sports Quotes)

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What do I think of the reverse sweep? It's like Manchester United getting a penalty and Bryan Robson taking it with his head" - David Lloyd sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game. Suffolk Teenage

In my day 58 beers between London and Sydney would have virtually classified you as a teetotaller" - Ian Chappell, after batsman David Boon drank 58 cans of beer on the flight from Australia to England etc. etc. but Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet, and so the teacher asked him about his Father.

You’ve got to bat on this in a minute Tuffers: Hospital food suit you?’ 48. “All swing, no ding” 49. “Lightning only strikes once” 50. “So how’s your wife and my kids?” This has been said to many fielders and we’ve all probably been on the wrong end of this sledge. There are conflicting stories as to where this originates from but it must be one of the oldest of its kind. 40. “Does anyone else feel that breeze?” 41. “I’ve seen a better batter at my local Fish & Chips” 42. “Take the keys off him he can’t drive” 43. “Didn’t know Gray Nics made fishing poles” 44. “You’ve lost it mentally. You’re still the same” There are different versions of this tale. Some claim that Jardine was actually complaining on Harold Larwood's behalf to the Aussie vice-captain Vic Richardson (Ian and Greg Chappell's granddad, by the way).

Geoffrey [Boycott] is the only fellow I've ever met who fell in love with himself at a young age and has remained faithful ever since" - Dennis Lillee Former England fast bowler Fred Trueman was looking to emphasise just how big a six this was but, instead, he simply ends up stating the obvious. Jonathan Agnew As a new batsman came out he turned to shut the gate, Trueman said, 'Don't bother son, you won't be out there long enough.'I can't really say I'm batting badly. I'm not batting long enough to be batting badly" - Greg Chappell Australian captain Bill Woodfull’s response when England skipper Douglas Jardine appeared at the dressing room door during the infamous Bodyline series. As it happens, Jardine complained that the Australians were swearing at him. Woodfull replied: With the possible exception of Rolf Harris, no other Australian has inflicted more pain and grief on Englishmen since Don Bradman" - Mike Walters on Steve Waugh's retirement

I suppose I can gain some consolation from the fact that my name will be permanently in the record books" - Malcolm Nash after being hit for six sixes in an over by Gary Sobers in 1968 I don't ask my wife to face Michael Holding, so there's no reason why I should be changing nappies" - Ian Botham It was rather a pity Ellis got run out at 1107, because I was just striking a length" - Arthur Mailey, who took 4-362 during Victoria's record score

And we don't need a calculator to tell us that the required run-rate is 4.5454 per over" - Christopher Martin-Jenkins Steve Waugh to Adam Parore after the Australian captain had signed a lucrative contract with Slazenger. 22. “I should’ve kept my legs closed” Sports teach you that there is always a second inning in life. If you fail today, there’s a second inning, maybe two days later.

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